Brandi Carlile's Daughters: All about the Singer's Kids and Parenting Journey

Brandi Carlile | Brandi Carlile, Evangeline Carlile, Elijah Carlile, and Catherine Shepherd | Source: Getty Images

Brandi Carlile and her wife, Catherine Shepherd, entered uncharted territory when they journeyed into parenthood as a same-sex couple. While they actively sought a dynamic that worked, their daughters helped them pave the way.

Singer-songwriter Brandi Carlile and Catherine Shepherd met in 2009 when they connected regarding the charity work she coordinated for Paul McCartney. The two frequently spoke over the phone and finally met a year later. Eventually, they started dating.

They married in 2012 and wanted to expand their family immediately after. Brandi Carlile and Catherine Shepherd welcomed two daughters, the first via In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF), and conceived their second via artificial insemination (IUI).

Brandi Carlile and Catherine Shepherd at the Stella McCartney X Adidas Party on February 2, 2023, in Los Angeles, California. | Source: Getty Images

Brandi has been candid about her journey into parenthood with Catherine as a same-sex couple. With most programs created based on heteronormative gender roles, Brandi particularly struggled to find her place as another mom to her kids.

She eventually realized that she was part of a somewhat new generation of same-sex domesticity, creating the LGBTQ parenting template she and Catherine lacked and creating history in real-time.

Brandi Carlile, Elijah Carlile, Evangeline Ruth Carlile, and Catherine Shepherd at the premiere of Disney And Pixar's "Onward" on February 18, 2020, in Hollywood, California. | Source: Getty Images

Brandi Carlile's Daughters: Evangeline Ruth and Elijah

Brandi and Catherine's first child is Evangeline Ruth Carlile. She was born on June 15, 2014. The now-nine-year-old was conceived via IVF and carried by Catherine. Brandi announced Evangeline's arrival, sharing an adorable photo of the then-newborn.

"Welcome to the world, kid!" she wrote. Evangeline's younger sister, Elijah Carlile, was born on March 18, 2018. Elijah was conceived via artificial insemination and was also carried by Catherine. The now-five-year-old weighed nine pounds when she arrived.

Brandi announced her birth with a photo of herself holding little Elijah, writing, "But all the wonders I have seen, I will see a second time. I am the mother of Elijah. 3/18/18. [...] PS. 9lbs - Catherine is a beast."

The 'Dad' Role Did Not Quite Fit for Brandi Carlile

In a January 2021 online essay, Brandi detailed her and Catherine's journey as first-time moms. Although the couple was excited to start a family, they had no reference about navigating being a family that had two moms.

Most programs that equipped first-time parents were designed for heterosexual couples, where fathers played more of a supportive role. With Catherine carrying their child, Brandi had to play the "Dad" part, which didn't feel quite right.

"It was complicated because I didn't know who I was supposed to be in this equation. I knew I wasn't 'Dad,' but I wasn't pregnant either," she reflected. The longtime musician noted that there was "no queer parenting manual."

It also didn't help that queer parenting lacked mainstream representation. What helped Brandi make peace with not being the one to carry Evangeline or Elijah and make sense of her role in their lives was realizing she was part of something significant, making history in real time as a queer mom.

"I made peace with knowing that there was some pioneering involved in what we were doing, to the point where there wasn't even a two-mother template on a birth certificate yet," she said, adding that it now existed.

When Evangeline was born, she and Catherine's midwife also told them to have a mantra for "every time the world of motherhood felt like it was a template we didn't fit into. Mine was: 'I Am the Mother of Evangeline,'" Brandi shared.

Although building a family dynamic was worrisome, she and Catherine were not alone. Support from family and friends poured in from all sides, and the couple even had an LGBTQ+-sensitive instructor who helped them identify and navigate their "natural parental inclinations together."

Eventually, Brandi realized, "There's no right or wrong way to evolve into a parenting role in either heterosexual or same-sex relationships. There are different, complicated dynamics, and there are many ways to feel."

Brandi added that more conversations about the fluidity of parenting roles would help normalize queer family dynamics. With all she and Catherine learned in their journey to welcoming Evangeline, the lovebirds "felt like pros" preparing for Elijah's arrival.

Brandi Carlile and Catherine Shepherd's Daughters Assigned Them Their Names

When Brandi and Catherine were yet to welcome Evangeline, the couple wondered how their daughter would refer to them each. Brandi received advice from an older lesbian mom and grandmother about the matter.

She recalled, "[She] told me that no matter what your children call you, even if they use the same name for you and your partner, you'll know who they're talking to by their voice." As Brandi attested, the advice turned out to be true.

(L-R) Evangeline Ruth Carlile, Brandi Carlile, Elijah Carlile, and Catherine Shepherd attend the 65th GRAMMY Awards on February 5, 2023 in Los Angeles, California. | Source: Getty Images

In November 2021, Brandi shared a sweet clip of them holding colorful welcome banners for their grandma after spending 641 days apart. That same month, she included them in a promotion post for her "Stretchy Pants Livestream Binge Week" with Veep.

The previous month, they had celebrated Halloween, dressed as "The Legend of Zelda" videogame characters. In April 2022, the family of four enjoyed Earth Day. Their latest family affair was at the 2023 Grammy Awards ceremony in February.

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